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Presented by State Library Victoria

Proof that it's okay to not have an amazing first draft :)

Hey guys!

So NaNo is over and yes, I won with 50,095 words in total. There were so many people saying “UGH! I NEED TO EDIT IT SOUNDS SO AWFUL”

Well… I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT ITS OKAY FOR YOUR FIRST DRAFT TO SOUND BAD!

All works of art have to start from somewhere right? Well to prove my point here is a bit of unedited writing from my NaNoWriMo and you’d see that it is extremely rushed in terms of the romance and it makes 0 sense but I’m still happy with it because I at least have some idea of where I need to change things.

NaNoWriMo is all about working out where you can fix things and to get your first draft finished in the first place. Now after NaNo I want to edit and put some things in that I haven’t thought of before when I first started writing. This post serves as a reminder that it’s okay to write stuff that is THE WORST piece of writing in the world 🙂

Writing doesn’t have to be good at this point. First drafts are working out what you want in your book. Editing is where the real magic happens <3

____

 

RYOTA MIYAZAKI

ALONE IN THE CITY LIGHTS

 

 

 

 

 

Tokyo nights never got boring. Ryota Miyazaki knew this in his own blood feeling this connection to his city deep rooted in his DNA. This call to him telling him he was home that he was always welcome to be cradled in the arms of neon lights and holographic signs. That here he was never alone. There he was standing on the rooftop of a building, his eyes not beckoning sleep with the alertness that only came from being a superhero. The Fire Fox looked over his city at his masked face on the side of billboards and even on t-shirts alongside 3 other superheroes: the girl called Crystal who could manipulate snow and the cold, Armageddon who had telekinesis and Radius who could shoot laser beams. They called the four the Glitches or at least that was what everyone else called them. The rebels that took over the Tokyo streets stopping the crimes and injustices provoked by the Glitch Incorporated soldiers. Their fights were brutal, their spirits unhinged as if they no longer had no humanity but simply the shell of a robot. Standing up here, Ryota felt like the superhero everyone thought him to be, no longer the weak boy he put behind him as he jumped to the top of this building. Even here he could see the Miyazaki residence just a few houses away dark in the shadows of the life of the city. He didn’t regret sneaking up here if only to clear his mind to know his direction and what next. The air was fresher up here instead of down on the streets and he truly felt like he was like the smoke that consumed his veins able to become one with the wind and let the weightless feeling overcome him. Looking in that direction he saw her… the strange girl made of ice with pastel pink hair and eyes the colour of turquoise seas, tranquil and silent before the rapids and the ferocity of the waves. Her silhouette, skinny, thin and slender illuminated in the light of the rooftop made Ryota’s heart kick start in his mouth. How was she so beautiful and so unaware of how she made him breathless?

Ryota leapt through the air over the rooftops silently like the fire fox he was until he stood right behind her as she sat on the edge of the building, arms over her legs cradling them to her.

“Can’t sleep?” He asked Crystal. She barely jumped at his voice just breathed slowly turning around to face him… at the boy with amber orange eyes, black hair and a mask crafted from the fire he could summon with his bare hands.

Crystal turned back to look at the skyline. “No. I’m not tired. I can’t stop thinking about Arthur Miyazaki and what he said to us.”

The boy was silent as he sat down next to her and let his legs dangle over the side of the building.

“So we’re just going to sit here then? In silence?”

“Yeah. I mean there’s nothing else to do at this time of night…”

Ryota stood up grabbing Crystal’s hand “You can’t tell me that you haven’t explored the city streets yet! Japan has so much to offer. Tell me you haven’t jumped from rooftop to rooftop and walked along these lit streets.”

Crystal smirked and chuckled “I guess I haven’t.”

“Well there’s always time for a first.” He offered her his hand which she took as he raised her to her feet as she blushed and smiled down at her feet.

“On three? One…” He grabbed her hand before feeling the cold prick over his warmth. He knew she could feel him burning her and they immediately stopped touching. She simply braced herself for the jump a bit sad to not allow herself to feel Fire Fox’s warmth. “Two…” she took a breath “Three” he said as they both ran and jumped from roof to roof the adrenaline pumping in Crystal’s blood.

“How was that?” Ryota asked looking the girl right in the eyes of which she just laughed at. “That was amazing.”

“Let’s see if we can do another one”

They jumped underneath the moonlight from roof to roof silent on their toes like trained assassins giggling in the adrenaline rush and the knowledge that if they fell they could immediately save themselves with their fire and their ice. It was a good feeling knowing that such an ability now felt so natural after so many months of trying to master it and making it easier to live with. They stood under the rooftop masks on their faces underneath the white full moon. It was gorgeous and breathtaking what one couldn’t see when their eyes were shut oblivious to the magic the night gave way to. They were close to the city with traditional Japanese music played from a restaurant below.

“Dance with me my lady.” Ryota said offering his hand.

“We can’t touch remember? I’ll freeze you as you’ll burn me” she told him.

“Then let us dance like this.” He put the palm of his hand a mere few inches away and the two pretended to dance like in those TV shows of royalty.

“But we don’t have music.” She said

He grabbed his phone and put it on the edge of the building and played the song Fire Fox always fought of when he thought of Crystal. Crystal Snow by BTS it was a slow song that represented every inch of the feelings that he felt towards her… towards Miranda… the girl who probably didn’t love him back. He brought her close to his body letting them sway to the tune of the song.

He spun Crystal round watching her hair float around her, dancing in the air with her body. She was an ethereal entity, beautiful with the moonlight shimmering on her shiny pink hair and reflecting in her eyes that twinkled as she saw the fox in front of her. He too was beautiful and teasing and confident and made her heart beat at the speed of a cheetah running in the wild. And she was laughing drunk on happiness and the feeling of being with a boy she loved. She was certain that this boy was Ryota Miyazaki but she wasn’t sure if he knew she was Miranda Snow. They twirled and danced on the black rooftop, their own dance floor and only centimetres apart. Enough to feel each-others breath on their skin and it felt like magic.

Ryota looked into Crystal’s eyes as he took her hand and pressed it to his lips “Thank you for the dance my lady.”

“There’s no need for my lady. I already know who you are.”

Ryota looked at Crystal in curiosity or as Crystal thought, an oh dang sort of way.

“Well that’s funny because I know who you are too.” Ryota started laughing.

“Wanna see if we both are right then?” She asked him raising an eyebrow

“On three.” Fire Fox and Crystal both put their hands on their masks “One”

“Two” Miranda said whispering under her breath as they both untied their masks eyes closed.

“Three” And suddenly their masks fell away revealing Miranda, brown hair and blue eyes and Ryota, brown eyes, black hair with blonde highlights.

“It’s you.” Miranda whispered. “It’s really you”

Suddenly Miranda felt Ryota’s lips on hers as they both kissed each other under the full moon he was burning her and she was freezing him but they beckoned it as they became one and let their magic surround them all. Each other’s touch was pleasant and it was the only time when they truly felt one and the same with Miranda’s fingers in his hair and Ryota’s hand on Miranda’s waist. They were both each other’s first kiss and they both blushed as they pulled away high on each other’s love.

She laughed against his skin kissing his lips again and Ryota melting into her.

“So what now?” she asked him

“What do you mean?”

“What are we when we get back to school?” she asked him as her smile turned into a frown. “Would we be something? Would we just pretend that today never happened?”

Ryota gave her a quick kiss “No. I’m sick of pretending I never loved you. I’m sick of pretending in general.” He held her hand and they both watched their fingers intertwined together. Miranda rested her head on his shoulder “So we are girlfriend, boyfriend then?”

“I guess so. I mean if you want to.” He blushed looking down but Miranda kissed him and told him that he would love to be his and his hers.

“Are you still tired?” Ryota asked her

“Not at all. I don’t think I can sleep.”

“Well then we can talk. Just here.” They sat down on the ground legs crossed music still playing in the background just loud enough for only them.

“How did you get your powers?” he asked her

“I don’t know it was just a medical procedure from what I know. It’s a long story but I just woke up one day in bed and was standing in front of the mirror and then suddenly I made snowflakes appear. It was crazy and so cold it was only after I myself turned to ice when I discovered that it was me causing this… climate change.”

Miranda opened the palm of her hand where she created a snowflake out of thin air and let it fly off her hand and into the night sky.

“Your ice is so beautiful.” Ryota whispered as he stared at her admiring this amazing woman who sat right next to him.

“Was your story similar?”

“Quite different. I was having a bath and the water was freezing cold. I remember that I know but as soon as I walked in the water turned warm and then hot and then boiling. I thought someone was pranking me but I soon knew it was me from the way my skin exploded in flames. From there I knew that my powers could be used for good and to fight against my father.”

“But why fight against your father? The business is a billion dollar industry. Do you truly want to give it all up?”

Ryota thought about it for a while. He was given so many things others couldn’t could it be as easy as saying so than actually doing it?

“Yes.” He whispered “I’ll give it all up if only it meant I didn’t kill people I didn’t even know I was killing.”

Miranda nodded with him “That’s noble of you Fire Fox.” She winked

“I probably killed so many people already just being Fire Fox.”

“You did it for a good cause you must know that.”

“Maybe so but it still hurts no less. Don’t you ever… I don’t know feel like you have so much pressure… like as a superhero there’s no room for error or for failure because you know that you aren’t just disappointing yourself you are disappointing everyone and the whole world is watching you. Watching your every move and how you react to them.”

Miranda just nodded “Yeah I feel it too. It’s an unwanted feeling I know but I’m here to tell you that it does get better. It is fine to feel this way but just make sure to confront everything with your head up. It doesn’t pay to look down on yourself. Trust me I know.” She giggled. “I’m exhausted what time is it?”

“It’s about four in the morning.”

Miranda moved closer to Ryota’s warmth and closed her eyes as he closed his and they fell asleep in each other’s arms. Only opening them as they watched the sun rise over the horizon welcoming another day… another dawn… and another day trying to bring Glitch down to its knees. They welcomed this putting their masks on fire on his fingers and ice on hers. Fire and Ice held hands as they looked out.

“Ready?” she asked him

“Ready” He told her more certain as they ran to the edge and jumped.

 

_____

Even I haven’t read over this stuff so I don’t know if it’s good. I quite frankly don’t want to read over anything just in case it’s awful but anyway. As said this is proof of my aforementioned points 🙂 I bet your writing tops whatever I wrote up here^^

See? It doesn’t make sense. You probably are confused as to what is going on and there is hardly any description. But it’s okay because I know I’d add some stuff in. Everything would turn out in the end with your story and writing you just gotta make the effort to be writing in the first place! Your story deserves to be heard! <3

-Sylvs <3

 

6 comments

damnedmonkey

Just thought I'd say that this is brilliant writing, even for a first draft. Keep it up :)

3rd Dec, 18
sylvs

Aww thank you so much <3 Hopefully the final copy would be even better :D

3rd Dec, 18
spacesoda

if this was a first draft, then your final copy is most likely god-tier writing

3rd Dec, 18
sylvs

:O!! Thank you so much!! It means a lot <3 <3 <3

3rd Dec, 18
spacesoda

In reply to sylvs

ahh you're welcome <3

5th Dec, 18
sylvs

In reply to spacesoda

UWU!!!

5th Dec, 18